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My pen name is Val Grian and lately I published a new book called "Tramps, Thieves and IT". The main two characters of the novel are a smuggler (Alan) and a homeless guy (George). Once accident makes the rag a rich and vice a versa.


In the book you will read about the adventures of Alan and George. The plot is dynamic and there are a lot of original jokes. As a bonus you will also find out what happened to Hitler in hell and what the Devil and the English Queen have in common.


Please feel free to ask me questions and share your opinions about the book in the comments. Have a nice day!


Here's the book link:

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Please find a taster of the book below:


    Alan pulled off a great deal and made a cool forty thousand. What kind of a deal, you may ask? That was a secret. Even Camilla, Alan's girlfriend, was not aware. But I will tell you, dear reader.
Hmm…on second thought…
Okay, this morning Alan smuggled a hundred kilograms of select Bolivian cocaine into Florida, taking advantage of its massive coastline and using his boat. Then the Coast Guard stopped him. He could have panicked, but why? The boobs were not even close to finding the secret compartment.
Where was it? you wonder. Well, I cannot tell you Alan’s secrets right away. He wouldn’t appreciate that too much and he can act a bit, well, irrational at times. He’s prone to pulling an occasional gun, which he keeps under his driver’s seat. Damn, I shouldn’t have blurted that out.
To move on with it…
Alan was driving home, humming “Despacito.” His shirtsleeves were rolled up and he glanced into his rearview mirror, liking that look in his blue eyes that came after success. The tune on satellite was catchy and eventually its upbeat mood had him pressing his right leg down full throttle. He was going faster than usual and almost home. Then, just a few blocks away from his house, a tramp crossed the road right in front of him.
He slammed on the breaks and stared in disbelief. There the tramp was, slowly dragging a cart full of junk across the road. The guy didn’t even care about the screeching breaks. They should have made him jump. But he just kept crossing the road unperturbed, neglecting the huge Cadillac Escalade that was inches away from him.
    “Get out of my way, loser! Chop-chop!” Alan shouted out his window.
    What did the tramp do? He just grinned and kept on moving slowly. When he finally crossed the street, Alan stomped on the gas pedal, muttering a drawn out “Assshooole.”
You probably think Alan is not very polite. Well, you are right.
    The situation with the tramp was not a big deal, but somehow Alan’s upbeat mood was gone. Some detail in the look of the bum alerted him, and now even the forty thousand that lined his jacket pockets didn’t make him happy.
A couple minutes later, Alan was in his driveway. He stared at the small but nice home he rented in Fort Lauderdale, near the ocean.
    He walked in and called out. “Baby, I’m home! I’m hungry, what’s for dinner?”
    “Honey, I’m so glad to see you!” Camilla came out to meet him, wearing a smile she kept for special occasions. “I’ve cleaned up the house and I’m exhausted! Can we eat out?” She lowered her head and batted her eyelashes. Then her finger extended to play with the button on his shirt. “Maybe our favorite seafood restaurant?”
    Camilla was lucky, because Alan had a thing for her. She was an “exception.” “Sure, honey. Just let me change.”
    Alan went to his closet and froze when he looked into it. The joy of seeing Camilla became instant panic. He shouted, “Baby, where is my old suitcase?”
    “I tossed that junky thing out with some other stuff,” she shouted back casually. “We should really get you a new one.”
“What?” he said. His heart was racing. Why would she throw away a locked suitcase?
She came to the room. “You okay? There was nothing valuable in there, was there?”
He couldn’t even speak, let alone breathe.
Alan might as well have been hit on the head with a sledgehammer.
Then the anger took hold.
“Bbbb”, Alan’s voice trembled, gradually gaining power. “B-Bitch! What have you done!”

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