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I am so sorry. David was BGO. I remember the lovely welcome he gave me when I joined and many words of wise counsel since then. David was wise, diplomatic and kind. He always had time for people - whoever or wherever they are. Much of the board as we see it today is David's creation, and there would certainly have been no BGO today without his efforts. But he was always willing to listen to other people's ideas, even when they were different to his own.

 

It was lovely that David was able to come back to BGO a few days ago and post. I am very sad to think that it was the last post.

 

RIP David - you will be sorely missed.

That sums it all up for me.

We came close to losing David at the end of October, and I thought I'd done all my weeping then. I was keeping the awful news all up in my head, but Mr HG's post has brought home to my heart all that we have just lost

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I am so sorry we have lost David and can only echo everyone else's love and respect for him. Knowing how I feel just now, I can hardly imagine how this affects all of you who have known David for so much longer and especially Hazel. My thoughts and deep sympathy to you all.

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Every morning after looking at my emails I log on here and, oh, I see this so sad news.  The poor man has obviously been through such a tough time and I'm sure most of us thought he was over the worst.  Thank you Hazel for all your reports and efforts.  Difficult to know what to write.

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There never seem to be the correct words to express imense sadness at news like this.

I join in and agree with all the wonderful comments made by others in reference to David's personality which shone though his words and gave us a hint of the real man behind them.

He will be sadly missed, but the tight-knit nature of this small online community will stand as an achievement that he was intergral in creating.

 

Thank you once again, Hazel, for being the bearer of good and bad news over the last few months. I can't imagine how hard it's been for you.

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It is very hard to know what to say about someone with whom I interacted on most days over the past nine years and yet whose surname I didn't know, whose birthday I couldn't remember and whom I only had a vague notion of where he lived and how he earned a crust. I knew he was roughly my age and shared a love for my favourite book, but not too much else for certain.

 

David and I joined BGO within a few days of one another in early 2005 a few months after it was founded and saw the forum grow and develop together. As its founder, Bill Matthews, gradually withdrew from the site, David became increasingly prominent and then its sole Administrator, a role he seemed extremely well suited for, always being a reasonable, calm voice and finding the right way to diffuse sometimes tricky situations and problems, often with quick wit and good humour.

 

I've been so wrapped up in the rapid developments in my own life over the past 18 months or so that I hadn't really appreciated that his illness, whatever it was, was so grave; I just assumed such a dedicated man would have the strength he needed to turn the corner. I wish I hadn't been so wrong. 

 

Looking over BGO, it seems to me to now that it reflects his own fine qualities many have paid tribute to here. It is a courteous place for good natured and thoughtful debate on literature and many more topics besides. It must be one of the easiest Internet fora to moderate as, whilst opinions might be strongly held, tempers rarely get out of control. If only the new lease of life David managed to give the site last year could have also given him a boost.

 

The best tribute I believe we as a group could pay to him, would be for the site to carry on in such a spirit, and that alongside the core community that has developed over its lifespan it continues to be a friendly, welcoming place for newcomers too.

 

Jews, at times of bereavement, wish each other long life. That is what I wish for BGO and for all of you.  

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The best tribute I believe we as a group could pay to him, would be for the site to carry on in such a spirit, and that alongside the core community that has developed over its lifespan it continues to be a friendly, welcoming place for newcomers too.

 

Jews, at times of bereavement, wish each other long life. That is what I wish for BGO and for all of you.

 

Well said Gram. The greatest tribute we can pay to David is to keep this site (that Bill started and David kept going) alive. And given our fantastic membership that shouldn't be hard..

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Thinking of what Gram wrote in his first paragraph would it be possible for a proper obituary to be written, giving 'our David'  a life that includes BGO but not that aspect alone.  Is it only Hazel who has a more rounded knowledge of him?  I'm meaning to be respectful and not intrusive and I hope It's taken that way.      

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Does anyone know what services are planned?  I would certainly contribute to BGO flowers if they are appropriate for the service.  

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Was thinking about flowers and wondered if maybe instead or as well that a donation to a library or school in David 's name might be an idea.?

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Wherever David is now, he is  free and running with the wind, and that's the way it should be.

For the rest of us it's tough. But we'll get over it and be strong again.

 

Was thinking about flowers and wondered if maybe instead or as well that a donation to a library or school in David 's name might be an idea.?

That's a good thought momac.

And for BGO, maybe we could celebrate David's birthday each year, by sharing some of his comment and wit from around the various threads? It'll encourage us to explore some of the forgotten corners of this awesome site.

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Hey everyone

 

It's been really hard for me to read the posts on this thread - you have all been so lovely and said such nice things about David but It is only reminding me what we have lost. Please don't stop though but just bear in mind that my replies may take a little longer.

 

David's birthday was the 19 of February - so very close to us just now and I think marking his birthday each year here would be lovely. I still have his Xmas pressie here wrapped and waiting as we thought he would be out of hospital for his birthday and I could send both pressies at once and have a double celebration.

 

I have emailed a couple of his friends down south to ask for an address that we can send cards to as I don't want to inundate his Mother at this time. I am also going to send them this thread. They are also going to let me know when the funeral is.

 

I am happy to write an obituary and let you all know a little more about David - but that's going to have to wait a few days when I can think about him without crying.

 

Thank you everyone.

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David's mother would be happy to receive cards and this thread, so I will send her something from me and am happy to package up any cards you may have for her.  You should all still have my address, if not, please PM me.

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Will do so Hazel - poor lady must be feeling terrible - I still have your address - do you have her married name ?

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Wherever David is now, he is  free and running with the wind, and that's the way it should be.

For the rest of us it's tough. But we'll get over it and be strong again.

 

That's a good thought momac.

And for BGO, maybe we could celebrate David's birthday each year, by sharing some of his comment and wit from around the various threads? It'll encourage us to explore some of the forgotten corners of this awesome site.

 

 

Good idea Ting.  

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I have only just come to this thread and am totally devastated too.  Your so very sad news Hazel totally took my breath away and I too have read through everyone's contributions with tears in my eyes.

 

Over the years I've been a member, I too have valued so much of what David has been to BGO and to me as a member: his patience with problematic contributors, his clear way of explaining some of the complexities of literature, his style of debate, of explaining some areas of grammar that confused and confounded, and of course, the way he, with the mods, reconstructed BGO for us all to enjoy.  The loss is huge for these and so many other reasons. 

 

Like others here, I felt I 'knew' David. I would picture him on the south coast of England, struggling with his laptops when they failed, with his walks along the coast and in his new career. 

 

Rest peacefully David. You will always be missed.

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And for BGO, maybe we could celebrate David's birthday each year, by sharing some of his comment and wit from around the various threads? It'll encourage us to explore some of the forgotten corners of this awesome site.

  

Ting,  this idea is a lovely one and could be a happy and appropriate way to remember David's wit and wisdom and appreciate more  completely the board he made for us.  I have found many excellent posts and discussions by accident, while searching for something quite different, and David has contributed often and so well to most of them.

 

Rather than limiting the time to post to David's birthday alone, maybe we could start a special thread and just add to it at any time, when we come across something special he has written, or a comment  we personally enjoyed. 

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I have just read the devastating news of David's passing and feel terribly saddened. There had been disturbing indications that his condition was extremely critical, but, even when there are warnings, "Death always comes without knocking", as someone says in the novel I'm (re)reading at the moment.

 

I have been a highly irregular poster over the last twelve months or so: for those who don't know me, I first joined the site just over six years ago. The Internet is a very strange phenomenon, and, despite not knowing his full name, or what he looked like, despite never even having heard his voice, I felt an affinity with David – through our interactions on various threads, but also in private messages in which I occasionally confided in him on more personal matters. It seemed that David was the kind of friend I would have, or wish to have, if I still lived in England.

 

David was clearly a man of very considerable gifts, among which was his extraordinary ability to express himself in such a way that you felt that he was talking to you rather than sitting at a screen and typing on a keyboard. There was wit and warmth in everything he wrote, and his last brave post (on this thread), being so different in tone, was a painful reminder of what he must have been enduring. Of course we cannot easily know that "the last time" we hear from someone, or see someone, may turn out to be not just the most recent occasion, but, alas, the last time ever.

 

It is utterly heartbreaking to be writing about him in the past tense. But, with no disrespect to other moderators, I have to echo a previous post in saying that "David was BGO". It is impossible to know how soon we will be able to adjust to a BGO without David. I imagine, however, that he would have wished us to try. With that in mind, I send everyone my best wishes and deepest sympathy.

 

John

Edited by jfp

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Very saddened by this news.

 

Setting aside his patience, wisdom and intelligence, all of which were obvious to members, from what I saw on here over the years I can say with total confidence that he was a really really nice man.

 

I don't think there's a greater accolade at the end of a life.

 

RIP David.

Edited by Royal Rother

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Sorry for double posting... A terrible place to do it! *sigh*

 

I can't add much to the wonderful things that have been said about David here, but I can't help thinking about how relationships are forged over the internet, and how you can feel as though you truely get to know people without any 'proper' real world interaction.

 

Unfortunately, in situations like this the real world does intrude on our litte oasis in the vast watelands of the internet.

Edited by Krey20

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Royal Rother

 

...from what I saw on here over the years I can say with total confidence that he was a really really nice man.

 

I don't think there's a greater accolade at the end of a life.

 

 

I heartily agree with this sentiment.

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That is a lovely eulogy from John (jfp) - it says so much of what I'm sure we are all feeling. To know someone only through the written word and come to feel a kinship with that person says much about the character and personality of that person. His 'niceness' shone through and it will be missed greatly in the weeks to come. Many people have written from the heart and while sadness predominates we must carry on and honour his memory in keeping the BGO the special place that it is. Missing you David but rest well.

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