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Bad Reviews Quiz


Keenomanjaro
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It is by Katie Price, and I'll give that one to you even though you didn't get the title, "Angel."

 

1. Answered (David)

2. Answered (jfp)

3.

4.

5. Answered (MM)

6. Answered (Flingo)

7. Answered (Keenomanjaro)

 

So just 3 & 4 to go:

 

3) On reading this review you will fall into one of two catergories. You will have either read some of [author's] work and will be looking for more of the same. [title] will not fail to deliver. Alternatively you will have never read [author's] work, in which case, read on...

 

If you are looking for a book that you LITERALLY cannot put down, then this is it. At the end of every chapter he generates an overwhelming desire to read 'just one more'. It is truly gripping.

 

The story is a fast paced thriller, with an invigorating mix of superb descriptive writing mixed with accurate science and in depth facts about the inner workings of the American political system. It sees the main characters involved in a monumentous scientific discovery in the Artic Circle, which has complicated connontations in the presidential race back in Washington. The answers lie in a conspiracy that runs right to the top.

4) As usual, [character] shows up somewhere, finds trouble, sorts out a massive mess and gets a little love in between. It is just as we, [character's] fans, like it. If you liked the other books, this one will be just as exciting as the others...and as always, I cannot put it down before turning the last page. Excellent excellent excellent.
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Flingo's about to spoil my big reveal so I'd better jump in and: I am Derren Brown and thank you for participating in my show! Before anybody answered these I made a prediction as to who would answer which question. These are the people who got the answer to each question:

 

1) David - the first question answered. David's first answer

2) jfp

3)

4) Hazel

5) MM

6) Flingo

7) keeno

 

These were my predictions:

 

1) "1st one answered. David's 1st answer"

2) "Grammath"

3) "keeno"

4) "Hazel. Obviously"

5) "Some librarian. Flingo?"

6) "David's second answer"

7) "Royal Rother"

 

So it seems like the only minds I can read are David's and Hazel's. What a frightening thought. I give myself extra points for picking the right person but not getting the actual question (what was that kids' game where you had to do that?) but I ought not predict next week's lottery numbers.

 

But how can you believe that I did the predictions beforehand? You can do this yourself. Clear your mind, stare at that post and read between the lines and all will be revealed.

 

Tune in next week for another episodes. Unless I get taken off the air.

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So it seems like the only minds I can read are David's and Hazel's. What a frightening thought.

Oh yes, be afraid. Be very afraid.

 

I think Derren just has the edge on you, Adrian (which, of course, you can re-arrange to make Darian - this is all getting spookier by the minute...), but that was an interesting experiment to say the least. It's been emotional, folks.

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My problem with this novel is exactly what I've written in the title - what is the point? I don't get this story, I don't understand what [author's] aim was when he sat down and decided to write the story of a 17 year old boy who committed a murder and now had to work hard to stop the police from finding out. Is this a novel with a moral message, because if so, what was it? That believing the best in people and loving freely is stupid because you'll end up like [character], a widow with a message full of hate left as a reminder of her husband? It can't have been written as an entertaining, enjoyable read because - it just wasn't. The blurb sounds exciting, the story line sounds thrilling, yet when it comes to the actual story, it's dull, and there's no denying it. It's an awkward novel more than anything in which the reader doesn't seem to gain much by the end except a feeling of utter despair at the darkness of the human race - if the aim was to send the reader into a state of mild depression and thought's of `I never want to read that novel again' then [author] succeeded.

 

None of the characters were particularly likeable or interesting. I've heard people describe [character's] character as truly terrifying, but I didn't think so. Cruel, ambitious, clever, yes. Terrifying? Not really. The few characters that did come across as intriguing were killed off pretty quickly as [character's] iinitial murder led to more in order to cover up the tracks (Macbeth anyone?). If this sounds interesting, it wasn't really. The only time I felt involved with the novel was right near the end, where [character] is trying to encourage [character] to kill herself, destroying the last of the evidence. [Author's] writing here was very powerful and atmospheric, the reader becomes absorbed in the chapter, racing through the pages, excited to see what happens. But then it feels like a bit of an anti-climax, a let down. Maybe this is the type of story that should have been told as a film, I don't know, but something was lacking.

 

 

I might have missed it, but I don't think this one ever got answered. It's really been bugging me. Can we have another clue (or the answer) please?

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Skegness Candy Floss is an all-time favourite of mine. I particularly loved that bit where the ex-offender and the prostitute are on the dodgems, and he rubs the candy-floss into her hair and calls her "a bitch-faced piece of fluff" - I think it was that... Brilliant dialogue.

 

But while we're awaiting Adrian's confirmation, here's another one:

 

I picked up this book because as a prize winner, someone believes its good. I hate disliking books, but I found it prolix and to me, dull. However I generally feel that I should persist with books that I dont immediately find gripping, as they often yield up hidden gems.

 

I plodded through this book, picking it up to finish it, rather than being unable to put it down. Halfway through it spat me out. It was at the description of the robins nest, the narrator says he can still vividly remember the 'buttery smell of the gorse blossoms'. Gorse blossoms are beautiful wild bush, they bloom all over the irish countryside, especially on hillsides and marginal land, the blossoms are a vivid yellow but smell very strongly of coconut. The author, while from ireland, clearly has never put his nose near a gorse blossom, the smell is unmistakeable, strong and ridiculously out of place.

 

I was soaking in the bath at the time, so managed to soothe and quell my irritation, thinking I could pass over that mistake, turning the page, the top paragraph he describes his wifes forehead as being like a 'frail ostrich egg'. If like me, you have ever held or stood on an ostrich egg, you will know there is nothing frail about it. They are incredibly strong.

 

wordy prose, excess descriptions I can cope with, but when those descriptions rest on error, even trivial ones like this, I loose my ability to be held by the story.

 

I threw the book across the room and enjoyed my bath instead

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Here's another one:

I have rarely read anything more boring than this great yawn! To be fair, it paints a possibly quite accurate picture of life in London at the turn of the century, focusing on the ever present class-divides in British society as represented by [CHARACTER'S NAME] and [CHARACTER'S NAME] etc. But why is it that the chattering classes has such a facination with working class lives and loathes? I found this to be a condesending, intellectualised view of the working class and life in London. [AUTHOR'S NAME] seems to take great pleasure in pontificating and going round in circles - and for the first 300 pages there is hardly any action at all. Not that action is the be all and end all - but in this case it may have made the book more readable!! In my view, [AUTHOR'S NAME] should have stuck with the short-story - my personal interest in [CHARACTER'S NAME] could have been satisfied in the spate of 10 pages!
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