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Bad Reviews Quiz


Keenomanjaro
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Ten more.

 

1) "I used to hate [character], until I found out he has ten thousand a year, now i'm madly in love with him." Yes I know that's a wilful misinterpretation, but the tortuous language, the upper class snobbery, and the unromantic linking of money and love are just too much! So there.

 

Pride and Prejudice [David]

 

 

2) This is a book for those who like to say that they have read a 900 page novel. I want the last 4 months of my life back. It varies between tediously unreadable(cf James Joyce), staccato dialogue(cf Raymond Chandler) and just mind-numbingly verbose (cf Midnight's Children).

 

If you are part of of a literary circle or a reading group you will enjoy discussing this book. You will endeavour to ignore that some parts are just plain nasty. Gabriel Garcia Marquez did it well, [author] didn't know when to stop.

 

I am told that you can get a badge that says "I finished [title]". Wear it with pride to your reading group.

 

2666 [Grammath]

 

 

 

3) Not only is the plot ridiculous, and sometimes hard to follow, the characters are generic (it wouldn't be spoiling the story to describe [character], for example - she's like every girl in every romance novel you've ever read - the slim one, long, flowing red hair like a halo. It's sickening to listen to the author to describe her bland appearance and character - ooo she's gutsy and has presence - like I've never heard that before), and the writing patchy, it's also unbelievably pretentious. [author] has squeezed every last inch of social and cultural references that she can think of (and that we can't).

 

The Time Traveler's Wife [Minxminnie]

 

 

4) [author] is clearly a nice bloke. He describes having been manipulated and hurt in the past and he is eager to emphasise that he respects and tries not to humiliate his own subjects. However, he rather spoils an otherwise entertaining and informative exploration of `magic' and psychology with a relentless, error-filled and offensive series of digs at Christianity.

 

Tricks of the Mind [David]

 

 

5) This is a really dreadful book - badly written and not particularly well researched. The author has tried to blend arch whimsy, mills and boon romance and grim facts. The result is a queasy, tasteless mixture which minimises the true nature of nazi occupation.

 

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society [megustaleer]

 

 

6) My problem with this novel is exactly what I've written in the title - what is the point? I don't get this story, I don't understand what [author's] aim was when he sat down and decided to write the story of a 17 year old boy who committed a murder and now had to work hard to stop the police from finding out. Is this a novel with a moral message, because if so, what was it? That believing the best in people and loving freely is stupid because you'll end up like [character], a widow with a message full of hate left as a reminder of her husband? It can't have been written as an entertaining, enjoyable read because - it just wasn't. The blurb sounds exciting, the story line sounds thrilling, yet when it comes to the actual story, it's dull, and there's no denying it. It's an awkward novel more than anything in which the reader doesn't seem to gain much by the end except a feeling of utter despair at the darkness of the human race - if the aim was to send the reader into a state of mild depression and thought's of `I never want to read that novel again' then [author] succeeded.

 

 

 

7) I read this classic piece of literature recommended by friend Rupert a Aussie bloke But i was very dissapointed indeed with it This could never happen the people would not allow it .Its just to far fetched to be true Life is to be enjoyed not to be mulled over in so called historicism memorabilia

your Sincerley

The Dutchess of edinburgh

 

1984 [Grammath]

 

 

 

8) After hearing so much about this book I finally decided to buy it after it was included in 'The Big Read'. Well, I wish I hadn't bothered. Whilst I appreciate that it 'speaks' to the spotty, angst ridden teenagers of the world, anyone who has left puberty behind will be left wondering what was the point of this book. The fact is that there is no point, just as teenage rebellion has none, it is merely a stage we all go through in some form and this book documents it in the style of a teenager. If you're none of the above , don't bother.

 

The Catcher in the Rye [keenomanjaro]

 

 

9) I think this is a good idea but it failed in the execution. Each chapter is related from the point of view of one of the four main characters. I was never sure whether events were taking place in the past or the present and I found the prose overwritten and literary for the sake of it.

 

The place of art in the lives of the four characters was of interest but again I felt it was overwritten. I could not relate at all to [character] who was trying to overcome her grief at the death of her twin brother [character] and I did not like the second person point of view. Novelists rarely use it for the good reason it is difficult to write and equally difficult to read. The Italian artist painting the same bottles over and over again did not come to life for me and the mother of the girl dealing with her blindness made me want to shake her. The girl herself was nearly convincing.

 

How To Paint a Dead Man [star]

 

 

10) It was with considerable regret that, after 250 pages, I called time on [author's] classic homage to Eighties America but rarely has a book so spectacularly failed to live up to expectations. I was hoping for an expert and witty satire on society and the American dream but what I got was a plodding, overwritten and frankly boring account of a series of ghastly characters picking their way through their contrived interwoven lives.

 

The Bonfire of the Vanities [chuntzy]

 

 

Hope I haven't left in an author or a character...

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I knew David was going to post that and I will reveal how I knew it tomorrow.

I expect to be very disappointed...

 

 

Personally I think Adrian has perfected a way of reading thoughts over the internet and posting with subtle neuro-linguistic cues that force people like me to respond with whatever he wants.

 

Well, either that or he included Brown's book expecting me to guess it so that he could deliver the appropriate punchline. Which is much the same thing, really...

 

No, I honestly don't believe in all this nonsense about psychologically manipulating people without their realising it.

 

Although I do believe that New Zealand is just the coolest country on the planet where the men are preternaturally endowed and possessed of intelligence and knowledge that would make Stephen Fry look like a retarded chimp.

 

I have to go and be a chicken now.

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6. It is We Need to talk About Kevin. These are reviews trashing the book so maybe the reviewer is totally on the wrong track regarding the police.

I had rejected 'Kevin' because of the reference to hiding his crime from the police, and also referring to the author as 'he'. Do you think that reviewer actually read the book? :rolleyes:

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Original post updated with the answered reviews. Still to go:

 

6) My problem with this novel is exactly what I've written in the title - what is the point? I don't get this story, I don't understand what [author's] aim was when he sat down and decided to write the story of a 17 year old boy who committed a murder and now had to work hard to stop the police from finding out. Is this a novel with a moral message, because if so, what was it? That believing the best in people and loving freely is stupid because you'll end up like [character], a widow with a message full of hate left as a reminder of her husband? It can't have been written as an entertaining, enjoyable read because - it just wasn't. The blurb sounds exciting, the story line sounds thrilling, yet when it comes to the actual story, it's dull, and there's no denying it. It's an awkward novel more than anything in which the reader doesn't seem to gain much by the end except a feeling of utter despair at the darkness of the human race - if the aim was to send the reader into a state of mild depression and thought's of `I never want to read that novel again' then [author] succeeded.

 

7) I read this classic piece of literature recommended by friend Rupert a Aussie bloke But i was very dissapointed indeed with it This could never happen the people would not allow it .Its just to far fetched to be true Life is to be enjoyed not to be mulled over in so called historicism memorabilia

your Sincerley

The Dutchess of edinburgh

 

9) I think this is a good idea but it failed in the execution. Each chapter is related from the point of view of one of the four main characters. I was never sure whether events were taking place in the past or the present and I found the prose overwritten and literary for the sake of it.

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Original post updated with the answered reviews. Still to go:

 

6) My problem with this novel is exactly what I've written in the title - what is the point?

8) After hearing so much about this book I finally decided to buy it after it was included in 'The Big Read'. Well, I wish I hadn't bothered. Whilst I appreciate that it 'speaks' to the spotty, angst ridden teenagers of the world, anyone who has left puberty behind will be left wondering what was the point of this book. The fact is that there is no point, just as teenage rebellion has none, it is merely a stage we all go through in some form and this book documents it in the style of a teenager. If you're none of the above , don't bother.

We Need to Talk About Kevin [Keenomanjaro]

 

Now I am utterly confused - You said 6 was W.N.T.T.A.Kevin?

6. It is We Need to talk About Kevin. These are reviews trashing the book so maybe the reviewer is totally on the wrong track regarding the police.
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