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Calliope

The Apprentice 5

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My personal stand-out moment?

Q: What's this?

 

A: It's a duster.

Notable candidates include one woman who still thinks purple lipgloss is a good idea, a loud-mouth who looks like a younger, prettier and (presumably) bipedal version of Heather Mills McCartney. Alan Sugar sacks a woman who seems to think it might be because she's a lawyer (personally I think it's because her scrunched-up features look like they've called a meeting in the middle of her face). None of the men make much of an impression except the one who wears his beard like a curtain strung along the bottom of his chin.

 

Alan, Margaret and Nick never change, you can't help watching for the candidates to fall into their roles.

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Damn damn damn forgot it was on...
iPlayer?

 

Does it have the appearance of turning into Big Brother like the last series did? If so I'll avoid it...
No back-stabbing in the apartment while waiting to see who survives the grilling in Sralan's office, but they don't know each other, and haven't formed any alliances yet.

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The first episode wasn't a classic, but it passed the time quite agreeably. I do wonder at what point the candidates make their stupid, macho pieces to camera - the "I've never failed at anything in my life" or " I'm the second best saleswoman in Europe" sort of things. They must have seen previous series and worked out that every candidate will look like a fool at some point in some task, and that this doesn't sit well with such macho talk. And they might have noticed that the past winners have been quite modest, self-effacing people. And that whether they win or lose, talk about valuing success above friendship is likely to mean they end up with neither.

 

The first sackee deserved her fate, if only because the line about Siralan hating lawyers had obviously been pre-prepared and it would have been a shame for her not to use it. All three of them in the Boardroom were hopeless but perhaps the other two had more personal animosity so that might make for better telebhision over the coming weeks. The sackee was good to laugh at, but I guess she would have been the same joke week after week.

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I can't say I was too thrilled by it to be honest, but it's the first in the series, and am quite happy to give it another go. Almost if only for Nick and Margaret though!

 

I think they have to do their silly 'I'm the best, etc, etc' pieces, and I believe that they are picked because they will make interesting viewing, not necessarily because they're great people, or great business people. It's just like any 'reality' TV show, they are picked because they'll make an interesting mix, and probably because they are likely to fight with one another, and not get along. I suppose the idea is that if they were actually all decent people, who got along, it would be rather boring to watch. Personally though, I'd like to see something go really well for once.

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I am wondering whether to change my user name to Pantsman. I say this as a serial non-eater of breakfast so sometimes I forget to put my pants on underneath my trousers.
That would make you 'commando'.

To be pantsman you would have to put your pants on over your trousers.

 

* For US readers:

UK pants = US underwear.

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Just been watching about four episodes in a day or so. Very, very funny stuff. Pantsman really was absolutely hilarious. What was he thinking?

 

It's interesting how people who seem quiet most of the time - I'm thinking of James - turn out to be quite good at one-liners when you see them on the 'You're Fired' shows.

 

The last episode I've seen - I think I've caught up - is the one where Pantsman is sacked and his 'relationship' with Kate exposed. I thought it was really interesting the way poor Lorraine obviously saw herself as the ugly stepsister there. I can't help but wonder if she had a decent haircut and learned something about makeup - if there were fewer cosmetic differences between her and the tres glam Kate - she might be a lot more confident.

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I don't think Kate's all that good looking (she over compensates in upper jaw length for what Lorraine lacks there), but she knows how to make the best of herself. As you say, Kim, a bit of attention in the hair and makeup department would help a lot - but should we be making judgments about them based on their looks? :o

 

I was glad to see the back of Philip for oh so many reasons.

 

Re-branding Margate next week - should be fun (or do I mean embarrassing?)

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I have a theory that I rehearse each year that some candidates are chosen as serious contenders and some are chosen for their televisual skills. Perhaps this isn't the case - perhaps they are all chosen as likely prospects but some turn out to be quiet and some turn out to be monsters. Either way, I think Sir Alan decides early on who is to win and ditches the ones who are quiet and won't win. He keeps some of the monsters around because they make for great TV.

 

In the last Boardroom, we had Pantsman, Lorraine and Kate. Of these, Pantsman and Lorraine are monsters without a doubt. Kate is quiet and seems quite competent. Therefore, I would have expected her to be fired ahead of the two monsters (who make great TV) unless she was still in with a very big chance of winning. I expect to see her go all the way now unless she does something really horrendous.

 

Pantsman was about as unpleasant as any candidate I have ever seen. Even Paul Torrissi seemed to have a bit more self awareness. I'm surprised he went ahead of Lorraine. Although - from what I hear - it does allow us to discover at a later date that Lorraine is banned for life from British Midland aeroplanes.

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Interview week coming up, which is always the most revealing and interesting one.

I've usually got a favourite by now, but this years candidates have all been pretty hopeless. I haven't regretted any of the firings, and the four remaining are just the best of a bad lot.

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I feel much the same way about there being no stand-out winner and no-one I hate outright. Ben was seriously annoying, but quite young, so I put his behaviour down to that. Compared to some of the other irritating/sexist/love-the-sound-of-their-own-voice guys from previous series (Paul from series 1, Trey from last series but one...)Debra, while annoyingly bossy hasn't been half as bad as some of the previous candidates.

I agree that the final 5 are the best of a bad bunch. Out of the lot, Kate seems the most competent, but only because she's screwed up the least rather than having dazzled with her skills.

Oh, and can Lorraine please get a makeover pronto? I'm still v undecided about Lorraine-sometimes I think she's really good as the only voice of reason on the path to disaster & sometimes she just comes across as sullen/bored/not interested or involved.

I'm really looking forward to the interview stage, it's always interesting to see how their CVs have been embellished & how they try and avoid difficult and/or uncomfortable questions.

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I have heard of one interesting revelation coming up next week:

 

 

Lorraine will have to explain why she is banned for life from British Midland aeroplanes.

I thought we all knew that already - it's been the only 'newsworthy' story to come out of this years Apprentice, and pretty old news at that.

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Lawks! As if it wasn't bad enough having every statement from the contestants tagged with "Suralan" from next series they're going to have to replace it with "Lordsugar" no less.

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It didn't - or if it was mentioned it wasn't broadcast.

As the incident happened 15 years ago, and was splashed in the Mirror back in April I expect they didn't considered it woould have enough impact.

 

I was surprised to see Debra go, I expected her and Kate to be in the final.

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I had hoped to see Yasmina and Rude Girl in the final - with Yasmina to win. Kate is way too insipid for me. How and ever, I expect Kate will win simply because when she was in the boardroom with Philip and Lorraine who were both much better TV than her, Philip got the heave ho. The only way that made sense was if Kate had been chosen to win.

 

But the very sad news, today, is that MM will be leaving the programme. I think the contribution of MM and NH is greatly underestimated - they are the glue which sticks it all together.

 

Lawks! As if it wasn't bad enough having every statement from the contestants tagged with "Suralan" from next series they're going to have to replace it with "Lordsugar" no less.

My first concern was for his jet which has the rego G-SIRA.

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But the very sad news, today, is that MM will be leaving the programme. I think the contribution of MM and NH is greatly underestimated - they are the glue which sticks it all together.

That is very bad news.

Those two are the highlights of the programme for me - they don't even have to say anything much of the time, just a look from one of them conveys a wealth of meaning.

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