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Absolutely dreadful - but I was particularly shocked to hear on the news that this was the 18th school shooting  in the US so far this year.

 That's three a week.

They didn't say they were all this kind of mass shooting but even if one, or none, are actually killed or injured many are traumatised and made fearful,.

 

 

 

I am still working my way through my 2016 BGO book list, looking for threads here, and for other on-line reviews and synopses, to try and remember what they were about in order that I can bring the list up to date.

Doesn't say much for my memory, but to be fair, most of them were read (or listened to) in the three months we were "homeless" and computer-less, waiting for the renovation  work on our bungalow to be finished - and then we were months unpacking and buying stuff like chairs and curtains, so I was a bit distracted.

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Meg, I think the 18 was the cumulative number which included others - the total for this year, which is awful enough, is 4.  I note that one of the US Senators was making a statement in the House about how this has got to stop, it doesn't happen anywhere else in the world where there are mass shootings like the ones in the States.  I don't know how they can fix it as the gun lovers are almost religious about their right to have a gun.  The NRA are a big component in the proliferation and promotion of gun sales, big money, and gun merchants.  I hope that at some point sanity prevails.

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I realize this is an unpopular position, but I'm a big believer in gun rights, although I do not own any and probably won't.  I cannot imagine the circumstances in which guns would be a lot more limited than they are now in the U.S..  The big issue I think is that people with untreated mental illnesses or drug or alcohol abuse problems also have free access to guns, so there are many proposals to prohibit them from obtaining guns.  But nowhere in the U.S. is a list kept of people who have these problems and as a civil libertarian, I would not want such a list kept.  So how would a back ground search for those issues be performed?  And many of the shooters--particularly school shooters--are using guns that belong to family members who wouldn't be excluded by such a list.  I think those people should be in a lot of trouble if their guns are used in that way, but the authorities hesitate to do it since they are in their own circle of hell having a child or grandchild who did something like that and may also be dead.  The gun manufacturers are beginning to be able to make guns that will only work with the fingerprint of the purchaser, which would help a lot, I think, but the technology isn't quite advanced enough.

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I disagree entirely with gun rights except for use by law authorities.  I wonder just how many people who have a gun have actually had to use it to defend themselves against an attacker, I know it's in the constitution but that applied, I believe, to do with attacks by martial groups.  Maybe I should look it up, something to do with protecting people from an armed government.  However you will know the wording way better than me Binker.  Amendments can be changed but I really don't see that being voted into law.   Could see it in the days when people had to defend their property against attackers.  However, not living there probably affects my opinion greatly.  

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This particular incident was very well planned and the shooter was known to the authorities.  He is also still alive so the potential for getting a reason is there.  I'm sure that if the authorities who knew about this could have done something to prevent it they would have.  Perhaps there is scope there to improve things by making sure that someone like that - who is known to the authorities - can be prevented from actually doing harm.  Trouble is, he said on social media that he would do that but that doesn't mean that he was going to.  A very difficult situation with no easy answer.

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13 hours ago, lunababymoonchild said:

  Trouble is, he said on social media that he would do that but that doesn't mean that he was going to.  A very difficult situation with no easy answer.

 

Safest I would have thought, to assume he meant it - as happens here if someone 'jokes' that they have a gun, or bomb in their luggage at the airport.

Chaos, and a lot of very angry people when it turns out it was a hoax, or a stupid drunken joke, but better than ignoring it and finding it was a serious threat.

 

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3 hours ago, megustaleer said:

 

Safest I would have thought, to assume he meant it - as happens here if someone 'jokes' that they have a gun, or bomb in their luggage at the airport.

Chaos, and a lot of very angry people when it turns out it was a hoax, or a stupid drunken joke, but better than ignoring it and finding it was a serious threat.

 

 

 

Boarding a 'plane and venting on social media is different.  I tell my brother from time to time that I'm going to kill him.  He just laughs because he knows that I won't.  I have said something similar on my FB page about my father, again it doesn't mean that I am actually going to kill him.  If you are at customs and 'joke' about a gun or a bomb then security can't let you on the 'plane just in case it's true.

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It is a beautiful day here so RG and I spent the morning walking around a local lake. It was lovely to see so many family groups out in the sunshine. Having washed my car RG is now giving the back lawn it's first mow of the year. Hopefully spring is not too far away!

 

Our little granddaughter is doing much better thank goodness. Although her feeds are still a little up and down she is having days when she takes larger amounts. The horrible vomiting has calmed down too.  Hopefully next week when she is weighed again she may have gained a bit more weight!

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CP - your weather sounds good, lovely to be able to mow the grass in February.

 

Glad that the wee one is doing better, will make all of you feel relieved.  Probably all well from here on hopefully.

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We spotted the postman a few days ago cutting diagonally across the front lawn from the drive to the door, so decided that a few tubs along the edge might put  paid to that.

Yesteday we went to the garden centre (just to buy 2 packs of seeds) and came away with 6 pots of spring bulbs (3 of fritillaria and 3 of dwarf tulips) a tray of violas and one of pink bellis (double daisies), to fill a couple of big tubs.

The weather today was perfect for filling and planting the tubs, so I spent a few hours at that, and topping up my vitamin D,

I am feeling very pleased with myself, in spite of a back ache, and am expecting to feel stiff tomorrow morning!

 

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Meg, what a nice way to spend your day, potting up your treasures from the garden centre.  Don't know what fritillaria looks like but sounds nice, will look it up on the Net.  There's so much pleasure associated with flowers, planting them, just looking at them and then there's the fresh fragrance - hoping our snow melts soon and we can see our bulbs coming up.  There isn't a lot of snow left but enough to cover the flower beds so here's hoping the temperature starts climbing a bit.

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There are lots of varieties of fritillaria, the most common here are the wild F. meleagris ( snakes-head fritillary, which grew in my last garden) or the Crown Imperial, a large showy garden variety. The one I bought is Fritillaria uva-vulpus, which should do well in a tub if we get a nice sunny spring. It shares the tub with some small cream and maroon violas, and I am hoping they look good together. I don't go much for growing flowers, so it will be a matter of luck.

The tulips i bought are Persian Pearl. They only grow to 10cm (4"), so I am hoping the daisies don't smother them before they flower.

I filled a third pot with some rampant spreading flowers I am trying to eradicate from the garden - don't know what they are called, but at least they will be contained, and easier to control in the pot.

Looking at them, I think we will need another pot (or two), as there is still some temptation to cut across the lower corner of the lawn.

 

I envy you your snow, just a little bit. Not that I'd want it hanging around for long. Hope your garden starts coming back to life soon.

 

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Hey everyone

 

I haven't been around very much and I apologise. I seem to do a lot of that here, but thank you to megustaleer for contacting me about being AWOL. I do hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas and a good new year. I got to the end of the year and realised that I had only read 17 books in 2017 (or so). I used to read around 80-100. I don't know quite what has happened - it may be related to social media, but it's something I plan to rectify this year and BGO is very much part of that. I miss reading and over the past few months I have bought a ton of books.

 

I was doing 3 college courses at once - still involved in two and one finished on the 6th February where I had to hand in a year long assignment - it ran to 74 pages. Bloody hell. I started to learn to drive - have had 9 lessons so far and really, really need to pass my test because I can't get a new job apparently without my licence! Not enjoying it that much but needs must...

 

Last week my eldest was diagnosed with Aspergers. Woof, that's the first time I've said that to someone. We always knew he was different, but we adjusted our lives a little and he was just him. But about 18 months ago he asked if he could be tested as he obviously started to notice differences and we began the process. It's been a long year or so with not very fun interviews and questionnaires...but on Wednesday it came to an end with him being diagnosed. We are letting it sink in just now. Nothing will change but we'll understand him a little better now. Initially, he refused to let anyone know and refused to look at all the support materials they sent us home with. But I bought a book about it, left it on the kitchen table without saying a word to him and that night the book disappeared. I found it in his bed the following day. So we are getting there.

 

Youngest took up drums and now plays in three school bands. We have drums in the house. It's noisy.

 

Well, that's pretty me caught up. Just need to post some book reviews. And again, huge thank you to meg, who while being hugely frustrated by me I imagine, still has enough concern to prompt me into action.

 

X

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Meg, thanks for the flower descriptions, don't know that I've even seen fritillaria at our garden centre, maybe not a good climate for that here but will ask next time I'm in there.  Looked at pictures on the web and they are very elegant flowers and droop nicely, almost snowdrop shape.

 

Good to hear from you Hazel, you sound so busy - I hope the driving goes o.k. - it's strange at first but after a while it will all become second nature.

 

That's a relief for you, no doubt, that you know what it is that has become a bit of a problem for your son.  Many people with Asperger's do really well both socially and in the employment environment, but then you have the book so you'll be aware of all of that.  Wishing you and the family well, was wondering where you were.  :)

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I am quite impressed that your eldest asked for testing - that seems pretty mature to me. How old is he now?

 

Two of our grandchildren are on the autistic spectrum, so I know what a shock getting the diagnosis can be. and also what a relief, as it answers so many questions (yet asks many more!).

Our grandson is now 16, and copes with his autism remarkably well considering how very difficult he was when younger. It is gratifying that a time when many kids become a bit unmanageable he is showing signs of maturity.

Granddaughter is only 9, and her autism manifests in an entirely different way, so we were very surprised by her diagnosis, and have no idea what effect puberty will have on her. 

You are all embarking on an adventure, and I hope your son and the rest of the family find it more rewarding than you might fear.

Good to se you here!

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Thanks momac and meg. Eldest is 16, he will be 17 in May. They have told us that he is very high-functioning, very clever but he has the social aspects and is very insular. These things we kind of knew. The surprise came with his sensory issues - clothing and noise seems to be an issue, though we have a very quiet house and life so that seemed to have suited him all these years. We live our lives small and very contained and that has definitely suited him. Though I suspected, I would never had him tested as I didn't much see the point as he copes very well and his intelligence blurs everything else, but no, he asked and we were very supportive. I think as he became more aware he realised that he was different to his friends. It is an adventure meg!

 

I keep telling hubby that no two kids on the spectrum are the same, that if you've met one kid with autism/aspergers then you've met one kid with autism/aspergers. Thankfully through my work I have a lot of experience and can help hubby understand - but that said, when it's your own, it's a different ballgame.

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15 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks momac and meg. Eldest is 16, he will be 17 in May. They have told us that he is very high-functioning, very clever but he has the social aspects and is very insular. These things we kind of knew. The surprise came with his sensory issues - clothing and noise seems to be an issue, though we have a very quiet house and life so that seemed to have suited him all these years. We live our lives small and very contained and that has definitely suited him. Though I suspected, I would never had him tested as I didn't much see the point as he copes very well and his intelligence blurs everything else, but no, he asked and we were very supportive. I think as he became more aware he realised that he was different to his friends. It is an adventure meg!

 

I keep telling hubby that no two kids on the spectrum are the same, that if you've met one kid with autism/aspergers then you've met one kid with autism/aspergers. Thankfully through my work I have a lot of experience and can help hubby understand - but that said, when it's your own, it's a different ballgame.

Hazel, how great to see you back on BGO. It sounds like you have laid the perfect conditions at home for your son to reach his full potential with minimal anxiety and must take such credit for that. I too have worked with children with autism, from the earliest ages until five years, but also have a niece and nephew with autism and Asperger's, and a younger brother with Down's Syndrome and autism and agree that it packs a different punch when it is in the family. Nephew with Asperger's is very happy, has two degrees and a terrific job in a bank where his particular skills are used and valued. It souds like your boy knows what he needs and wants and you and your family will be able to support him all the way.

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It's good to see you on BGO, Hazel.  Congratulations on your impending auntyhood and well done on the upbringing if your sons.  Clearly your eldest felt secure enough to ask to be tested and that's a testament to you and your husband's parenting.  You should be proud of yourselves and him.

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