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Abbynormal92243

Corrupted Wish Game

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I wish my internet connection would be upgraded to something much faster and stop spacking out when I'm trying to do something!

 

Your internet connection is now so fast, that the pages won't load properly, as all internet providers think that everyone on the planet has mastered speed reading 101.

 

I wish that the cat would stop licking the photographs he finds on the coffe table. (And, yes, he actually does this!)

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The cereal Lucky Charms does indeed make a comeback, children become addicted to its litany of E numbers and the streets are now governed by the few wild-eyed mania-ridden tots who haven't choked to death on all the free gifts hidden therein to tempt them.

 

I wish I could turn back time...

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You turn back time and get stuck in prehistoric times where you get eaten by a large dinosaur.

 

I wish I could have 2 weeks off school without being suspended or expelled or the school being set on fire

 

;)

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You can have two weeks off - your school decides to give everyone the next two weeks as a break for no apparent reason. But to compensate for the lack of time to cover the rest of the syllabus this year, they then make you go to school seven days a week until the end of term!

 

I wish I could spend the whole summer surfing and going to festivals. :D

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Whoops. Must have overlooked that. Oh well, dinosaurs do eat dinosaurs sometimes....I'm sure you're not an exception to this rule :)

 

You can spend the summer surfing and going to festivals but unfortunately it rains constantly throughout the summer and as you used up all your free time in the 'summer' you have to spend the nice sunny 'winter' working. Sorry!

 

I wish gigs didn't have any age restrictions.

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All age restrictions are removed, which means that apple juice rules can tag along with you to every gig, and you end up bickering throughout and not concentrating on the music. In fact, when Pete Doherty sees you have turned up with your younger brother, he changes his mind and decides not to ask you if you want to come backstage afterwards.

 

I wish my house sale could go through without a hitch.

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It goes through so suspiciously smoothly the Inland Revenue think you have something to hide and spend the next ten years going through your finances penny by penny...

 

I wish someone would invent an automatic dog walker...

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All age restrictions are removed, which means that apple juice rules can tag along with you to every gig, and you end up bickering throughout and not concentrating on the music. In fact, when Pete Doherty sees you have turned up with your younger brother, he changes his mind and decides not to ask you if you want to come backstage afterwards.

 

:eek: Doooooooooooooooooooooom

 

An automatic dog walker means you never have to go walking again and you become obese and cannot leave the house ever again.

 

I wish Pete Doherty would invite me backstage when I go to see Baby Shambles on Friday :D

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After Babyshambles' latest on-stage debacle, Pete D hurries you backstage to avoid the marauding moshers who have been ripped off for £15 to watch the band play for under ten minutes. There, he slumps comatose into his favourite 'crack' chair with Kate draped all over him - and you're mistaken as the cleaner by the venue's management and ordered to tidy the entire auditorium. ;)

 

I wish my throat would stop hurting.

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Your throat stops hurting, and you feel fine. However you drop dead the next day due to suffocation. If only that pain was there it would have reminded you to get it checked out.

 

I wish that sexism didn't exist

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It doesn't! In fact men and women become so tolerant towards each other that nothing ever gets done. For example a couple in Southend on Sea have been having the same conversation outside Sainsbury's for the last year:

"After you..." (opens door)

"..No I insist, after you.."

"..no I really do insist, after you..."

Everyone eventually dies from hunger and its all your fault...

 

I wish a Chinese Banquet would just appear on the table whenever you thought about it.

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You keep accidently thinking about Chinese Banquets, which keep inconveniently popping up in the most awkward situations. For example, you're being interviewed for a new job and all you can think about is Chinese banquets.....at least you'd never go hungry again...

 

I wish I didn't have a 6 hour art exam tomorrow

 

Edit: Ok I've now found out it's in silence as well. Yipee.

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You don't. After much consideration, the examining board decided to change it to 8 hours.

 

I wish my garden would do itself.

 

(Hope the exam went well, by the way, H. :D

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Your garden does itself for you. But then it goes weird and starts cleaning your house and your car. Your haouse is blanketed by a giant garden who only means to wish you well.

 

I wish brothers would go away

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Thankyouthankyouthankyou :D You turned my house into a hobbit hole!

 

Your brothers go so far away it costs you a fortune to visit them at christmas (and that's before the presents...)

 

I wish I could meet Peter Jackson

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You do meet Peter Jackson. Peter Ignatius Jackson from Streatham Park, who invites you round and entertains you with his 'cowboy' magazine collection, then treats you to weak tea and homemade upside-down cake that tastes oddly of crayons.

 

I wish chick peas didn't need soaking overnight.

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The manufactuers state that chick peas no longer need to be soaked overnight, and everyone finds themselves eating unsoaked chick peas that are rock solid and break your teeth.

 

I wish Carl Barat had showed up at the Baby Shambles gig last night...

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He did. With a sawn-off shotgun. And killed loads of people, for which he is now in custody. Nobody noticed, because it was Brixton. (Any chance of a embargo against mentions of Libertines/Babyshambles members on this forum? No, okay...)

 

I wish my horse would come home. It's been so long...

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Your horse HAS come home and is now back in the kitchen from which you wished to remove it. It has also brought a herd of friends who are now taking over the rest of your house......

 

I wish my paperwork was self sorting.

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Your paperwork sorts itself so you never have to see it again. Problem is, your bank overcharges you by £3000 and by the time you realise it's too late. If you'dve had to have sorted your paperwork yourself, you would have noticed in time to rectify this error.

 

I wish I had gone to bed an hour ago....

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Doctor Who appears in his Tardis in response to your wish to take you back the required hour and deposits you in your bed. Unfortunately, as even a Time Lord cannot be in two places at once, he misses his opportunity to divert a planet-killing comet heading for earth and we all die. Billions of years later, Cockroach scientists poring over our fossilized remains uncover your bed with you still in it. Having found out that you were the cause of the entire planet's impending destruction, you became too depressed to move and never got up again.

 

On a lighter note, I wish I had a self-cleaning kitchen.

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Your kitchen cleans itself very efficiently. In fact, it is so efficient that every time you try to make something to eat it is whisked away before you can eat it. You now have to eat all your meals out and your bank balance is quickly dwindling from the expense.

 

I wish I had more gardening space (so many plants, so little room!) :P

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You do have more gardening space but only because your house was blown away in a tornado. You don't have much time to do your gardening though as you are busy building yourself a treehouse to shelter from the miserable British weather.

 

I wish my best friends lived nearer to me.

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