donnae Posted April 12, 2005 Report Share Posted April 12, 2005 I took your home contents with me on Concorde and your insurance company says they can't insure the contents as they are now contained in something which isn't a home! Your home contents insurance is now very low! (I can recommend a good insurance company for house contents on a serious note - no personal affiliation!) I wish my hair hadn't gone grey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess Posted April 12, 2005 Report Share Posted April 12, 2005 It didn't go grey but fell out instead! I wish someone would make me a cup of tea Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfstar Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 I'll make you a cup of tea unfortunately by the time you get it it is stone cold and congealed...what was'nt spilled on the journey to you that is!! I wish that my windows are self cleaning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Your windows are beautiful and sparkling and you didn't have to touch one cloth, now you have an even better view of the new landfill site next to your home! I wish my joints didn't ache Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deinonychus Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 Your joints no longer ache, but you're now addicted to Dr Bryant Winkelman's Patent Remedy Painkiller which has thousands of side effects - among them the urge to throw spanners at churches and wee milk. 'I wish there were a lighter way to enjoy ice cream..!' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisG Posted April 13, 2005 Report Share Posted April 13, 2005 You have been shot into outer space and are now in freefall - so you are a whole lot lighter - but you can't get the ice cream to stop floating into the air around you so none of it goes in your mouth. (The new, super-duper weight loss program - literally ) I wish I had nothing else to do but read books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 You call up the home insurane help hotline, but the person on the otherside commits suicide. The police believe that you were assisting suicide, and put you behind bars for 3 years. I wish that this song was available to download. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfstar Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 It is available to download unfortunately it is the only song available and you are stuck in a continuous loop annd you HATE it now.... I wish I was a tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Sadly, Little Britain answered a corrupted wish from the previous page which had already been answered, with the result that ChrisG's wish has not been corrupted. Anyone any ideas how to get out of this unholy mess? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belinda Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Sadly, Little Britain answered a corrupted wish from the previous page which had already been answered, with the result that ChrisG's wish has not been corrupted. Anyone any ideas how to get out of this unholy mess? Three corrupted wishes in one ..................... You have nothing to do but read - the problem is that that you have to read the same lyrics all over and over (I'm a Lumberjack). This leads to a situation where all Elfstar Trees are felled by army of mounties wearing high heels suspenders and a bra (apologies to Monty Python) I wish I had remembered to pay my access bill on time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisG Posted April 15, 2005 Report Share Posted April 15, 2005 Sadly, Little Britain answered a corrupted wish from the previous page which had already been answered, with the result that ChrisG's wish has not been corrupted. Anyone any ideas how to get out of this unholy mess? Mind your own business, Bill, I was perfectly happy to have that wish uncorrupted! OK, I guess we have to let the thread get on with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted April 17, 2005 Report Share Posted April 17, 2005 Ok Bill I'll do yours You pay your bills on time, and bill companies send you more bills, because they know you get your bills on time. You now owe the company in excess of £1,000,000. I wish I could sleep in my own bed tonight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opal Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 You can, but oddly your bed has been moved to the middle of a roundabout. You wake up in the rush hour tomorrow with lots of commuters staring at you as they drive past. You're stuck there until 10am because the traffic's moving too fast for you to get off the roundabout. I wish my computer programming coursework would get magically done for me. Without any mistakes in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deinonychus Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 It is 'magically' done. But unfortunately all your coursework has been replaced with diagrams of low-rent televisual conjuring tricks, because it was completed by magician David Nixon. Who's dead anyway, so there's no comeback there... I wish this horse would leave my kitchen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elfstar Posted April 18, 2005 Report Share Posted April 18, 2005 The horse has left your kitchen and is now in your bed, forcing you to spend an extremely restless night (or two) elsewhere in the house. I wish for a beautiful summer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted April 20, 2005 Report Share Posted April 20, 2005 You get a beautiful summer, but sadly the weather sticks and it's summer forever. Not so bad you may think BUT the glaciers up North melt, drowning the world. Well done. I wish I lived somewhere else Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Posted April 20, 2005 Report Share Posted April 20, 2005 You now live on a nice cosy drain in central london in the centre of all pollution and nastiness. Enjoy! I wish The Libertines would hurry up and get back together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deinonychus Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 The Libertines do get back together - and now we all have to endure even more tedious daily updates about their 'not-at-all-contrived' spats with one another... I wish I could play poker and win loads of money and nothing bad ever happen, ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 The wish guru pops out while you are gambling your family on a big hand of poker. He says 'You cannot wish for nothing bad to happen'. So he takes away the magicness of the spell and you lose your hand, and thus your family. I wish Frank Dean and Sammy were doing a comeback show one night only and I had tickets. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Dog & Glory Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 Frank Dean and Sammy do indeed stage a comeback. That's Frank Dean, bus driver by day, male stripper by night - although his services haven't been much in demand since he got the goitre. But there he is, onstage, accompanied as always by his pet chihuahua Sammy. And all for want of a comma. I wish I could drink the finest wine known to humanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Strangelove Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 *Sigh* Thanks for that! You drink the finest wine in the world, which incidently is so good it kills you. (Much like the joke) You die. Take that. I wish that School was easier Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opal Posted April 21, 2005 Report Share Posted April 21, 2005 It is. In fact school becomes so easy that it now takes minimal effort to get good grades. Consequently everyone stays to do A-levels and go to university. In fact before you know it everyone has a degree and the only way to get a good job is to stay "in education" until your mid-twenties doing a PhD. And even then you'll start off in a job on minimum wage. I wish I could rehighlight my hair (so that it still looks good) without having to pay a fortune and spend hours in the hairdressers every couple of months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My Friend Jack Posted April 22, 2005 Report Share Posted April 22, 2005 You can, Fiona, you can! And - not only that - but now that your hair is one inch long all over, you save an hour in the bathroom every morning! I wish... that the lovely weather we are having today (in Sussex, we are, anyway!) will last over the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess Posted April 22, 2005 Report Share Posted April 22, 2005 In fact before you know it everyone has a degree and the only way to get a good job is to stay "in education" until your mid-twenties doing a PhD. And even then you'll start off in a job on minimum wage. hmmm that sounds all too familiar to me, although I'm hoping to get more than minimum wage at the end of it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Opal Posted April 22, 2005 Report Share Posted April 22, 2005 hmmm that sounds all too familiar to me, although I'm hoping to get more than minimum wage at the end of it! Me too! I wish... that the lovely weather we are having today (in Sussex, we are, anyway!) will last over the weekend. It does. But thats summer for this year (in Sussex). It now rains continuously there til September. Which wouldn't be too bad, but you make the mistake of telling your kids that the rain's not so bad - it's like a giant shower. Then they refuse to go anywhere near a shower for 6 months. I wish my internet connection would be upgraded to something much faster and stop spacking out when I'm trying to do something! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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