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I took your home contents with me on Concorde and your insurance company says they can't insure the contents as they are now contained in something which isn't a home! Your home contents insurance is now very low!

 

(I can recommend a good insurance company for house contents on a serious note - no personal affiliation!)

 

I wish my hair hadn't gone grey!

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You have been shot into outer space and are now in freefall - so you are a whole lot lighter - but you can't get the ice cream to stop floating into the air around you so none of it goes in your mouth. (The new, super-duper weight loss program - literally ;) )

 

I wish I had nothing else to do but read books.

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Sadly, Little Britain answered a corrupted wish from the previous page which had already been answered, with the result that ChrisG's wish has not been corrupted.

 

Anyone any ideas how to get out of this unholy mess?

 

Three corrupted wishes in one .....................

 

You have nothing to do but read - the problem is that that you have to read the same lyrics all over and over (I'm a Lumberjack). This leads to a situation where all Elfstar Trees are felled by army of mounties wearing high heels suspenders and a bra (apologies to Monty Python)

 

I wish I had remembered to pay my access bill on time

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Sadly, Little Britain answered a corrupted wish from the previous page which had already been answered, with the result that ChrisG's wish has not been corrupted.

 

Anyone any ideas how to get out of this unholy mess?

 

Mind your own business, Bill, I was perfectly happy to have that wish uncorrupted! :D

 

OK, I guess we have to let the thread get on with it. ;)

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You can, but oddly your bed has been moved to the middle of a roundabout. You wake up in the rush hour tomorrow with lots of commuters staring at you as they drive past. You're stuck there until 10am because the traffic's moving too fast for you to get off the roundabout.

 

I wish my computer programming coursework would get magically done for me. Without any mistakes in it. :D

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It is 'magically' done. But unfortunately all your coursework has been replaced with diagrams of low-rent televisual conjuring tricks, because it was completed by magician David Nixon. Who's dead anyway, so there's no comeback there...

 

I wish this horse would leave my kitchen.

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The wish guru pops out while you are gambling your family on a big hand of poker. He says 'You cannot wish for nothing bad to happen'. So he takes away the magicness of the spell and you lose your hand, and thus your family.

 

I wish Frank Dean and Sammy were doing a comeback show one night only and I had tickets.

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Frank Dean and Sammy do indeed stage a comeback. That's Frank Dean, bus driver by day, male stripper by night - although his services haven't been much in demand since he got the goitre. But there he is, onstage, accompanied as always by his pet chihuahua Sammy.

 

And all for want of a comma.

 

I wish I could drink the finest wine known to humanity.

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It is. In fact school becomes so easy that it now takes minimal effort to get good grades. Consequently everyone stays to do A-levels and go to university. In fact before you know it everyone has a degree and the only way to get a good job is to stay "in education" until your mid-twenties doing a PhD. And even then you'll start off in a job on minimum wage. ;)

 

I wish I could rehighlight my hair (so that it still looks good) without having to pay a fortune and spend hours in the hairdressers every couple of months.

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You can, Fiona, you can! And - not only that - but now that your hair is one inch long all over, you save an hour in the bathroom every morning!

 

I wish... that the lovely weather we are having today (in Sussex, we are, anyway!) will last over the weekend.

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In fact before you know it everyone has a degree and the only way to get a good job is to stay "in education" until your mid-twenties doing a PhD. And even then you'll start off in a job on minimum wage. ;)

hmmm that sounds all too familiar to me, although I'm hoping to get more than minimum wage at the end of it! :eek:

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hmmm that sounds all too familiar to me, although I'm hoping to get more than minimum wage at the end of it!

Me too!

 

I wish... that the lovely weather we are having today (in Sussex, we are, anyway!) will last over the weekend.

 

It does. But thats summer for this year (in Sussex). It now rains continuously there til September. Which wouldn't be too bad, but you make the mistake of telling your kids that the rain's not so bad - it's like a giant shower. Then they refuse to go anywhere near a shower for 6 months. :P

 

I wish my internet connection would be upgraded to something much faster and stop spacking out when I'm trying to do something!

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