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Abbynormal92243

Corrupted Wish Game

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Getting into the festive mood Mr and Mrs Deinonychus wished Mr and Mrs Tyranosaurus Rex a Merry Christmas but did not live to have a happy New Year.

 

I wish that money grew on trees

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You can fly, however this is only in your mind due to the class A drug you have just consumed, have fun sharing a cell with Deinonychus.

 

I wish I was ambidextrous.

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You become ambidextrous, and you are able to write in both English and Chinese. Unfortunatley you get muddled between the two and are stuck between speaking half English and half chinese at the same time.

 

I wish I can skip exams yet still be clever.

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You can skip exams and still be clever, but unfortunately your universities of choice will not accept you due to lack of exam results.

 

I wish my phone hadn't gone through the washing machine and still turned on!!!!

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Your wish is granted - your phone does turn on! But for some strange reason you only get text messages from entities known as Ariel, Daz and Fairy.

 

I wish the slugs in my garden would disappear.

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You go on holiday with your parents to Saudi Arabia and your exam results are emailed through. Your parents leave you behind there to do your retakes.

 

I wish my children would stop re-setting my ring tone on my mobile

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They do stop re-setting it, but leave it so that it always rings with that dreadful little chick ring tone! ;)

 

I wish I could eat all the Easter eggs without getting fat(ter)! :D

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Your wish is granted - you can consume as many Chocolate Easter Eggs as you wish, yet gather no avoirdupois.

 

This is because you are allergic to chocolate, and throw up violently after swallowing each mouthful - but you cannot stop eating them !

 

I wish I could find a mint, inexpensive, mono, first pressing of Piper At The Gates Of Dawn at the record fair tomorrow.

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You get you mint, inexpensive, mono, first pressing of Piper At The Gates Of Dawn home and put it on the table to admire it. Your best friend comes round with a child and whilst you are out of the room melts the disc up to make a flower pot having just learned to do this at primary school.

 

I wish I could give up smoking

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Travelling to different countries is cheaper, however you have been classified as an undesirable alien (sorry) and are unable to leave your home.

 

I wish I was a clever as the rest of you!

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Your car is fixed - unfortunately, I suspect you really wanted it mobile.

 

I wish someone would invent porous concrete so my drive would drain.

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Your concrete is porous but unfortunately the water passing through is affecting your foundations and your house is sinking.

 

 

I wish my lawn remained at a constant level all summer.

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Your lawn stays the same height all summer, unfortunately that is 8 feet high! You get lost in it and are unable to find your way out. You are stuck forever trying to find your lawnmower!

 

I wish it would stop raining!

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It has stopped raining...for a very long time. Dartmoor becomes a desert.

 

I wish I could think of a witty and entertaining wish for one of you to shoot down in flames.

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Since you can't think of a suitably entertaining wish, we shoot YOU down in flames instead! Now you have a long time in hospital unable to move, so you can spend lots of time thinking up wishes!

 

I wish that all the Neds/Chavs/Spides/Scallys/....(you get the picture) would all move to Aiya Napa and stay there and leave the rest of the UK for normal people. I'll even pay to open up a Burberry shop just to tempt them.....free buckfast.....Adidas bottoms for everyone....orange fake tan, domestos for their hair....come on, they'd be in heaven and our town centres/public transport/empty properties would be a hell of a lot safer!

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All the chavs etc are sent to Ayia Napa (tho Kavos might have been a better choice it could have been cut off or set afloat........) but as it was your idea you are sent out to organise the move and become chief chavette.

 

I wish my knowledge was good enough to keep up with the poetry chain without balancing my poetry books on the window ledge by the pc.

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Your wish is granted - your knowledge of poetry is such that you are invited to chair discussions on Radio 4.

 

Unfortunately, removing the books from the window sill means that you have to put pot plants there instead - and you are favoured with a visit from the Drug Squad.

 

I wish my voice recognition software worked, so I could just dictate my responses and e-mails.

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Your voice recognition software has the voice and IQ of Jade Goody. All your firiends, family and colleagues desert you.

 

I wish dogs could walk and clear up after themselves

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Dogs can walk and clear up after themselves, they also clear up everything left by anybody else, thus that book you put down for 2 minutes is gone as is the cup of coffee you had planned to drink, in fact dogs consider most human things worthy of clearing and your home is almost empty......

 

I wish I could see the hills instead of the pall of mist.

(perhap I should move the pot plants see Obsuka's post)

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You can see the hills but they are actually volcanoes and they form a ring surrounding your house so you can never leave...

 

I wish I could marry Colin Firth and live happily ever after!

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