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Well, to start with, you could differentiate between your unimaginatively named children by calling one Billy, one Will and the other just plain old William. Then you could opt to practice a modicum of old-fashioned parenting by refusing to let them indulge in recreational drugs, at least 'under your roof'. It may sound harsh, but everyone will be happier in the long run.

 

I wish every day could be pancake day........

 

I love it!!! :D:D That was very funny!!!!

 

Every day is pancake day, and thats all you can ever eat again all other food is ruled out, and the only filling you can have is brussel sprout and bean filling!!! A combination i would imagine could cause some questionable side effects and be very harmful to the o-zone layer, hence the ice caps would melt and the winds would pick up, snow would fall in Africa, and there would be heat waves in Greenland and you would be responsible for the end of world all because you wished every day to be pancake day!!!

 

I wish I was on my holidays in a warm location with all my friends and lots and lots of spending money to spend on fine food and wine!!! :D

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Its me, fully recovered from my coma!

 

Wishing for the warm location was a mistake really wasn't it?

 

Your friends are all really hacked off with you because although they have all been whisked away from the humdrum everyday world and suddenly have masses of cash in their pockets that could easily be spent on fine foods and wine... they are alarmed at finding themselves on an unstable boulder in the middle of an active lava field. Still, as you await your crispy end you can explain what a nice thing you did including them in your wish.

 

I wish it would snow properly in Southampton, but not so much as to keep me at work!

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You've got your wish, it’s snowing in Southampton! Unfortunately it doesn't show signs of easing and the roads into and out of the city are becoming treacherous, so much that the government is forced to declare the entire city a no-go zone, nothing is allowed in or OUT! The cold spell lasts until the end of April by which time teenagers from Millbrook have declared control over the city, it is finally reopened on the 1st May renamed Chavhampton.

 

I wish I had my own swimming pool

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TA DAA!!!

Wish granted, you skinny hairy creature.

Unfortunately you are so skinny and hairy you give the general public quite a fright :eek: when you walk down the street, including a budding scientist who believes you to be some kind of new humanoid species. It's his greatest discovery, the big break he's been waiting for, he's going to be FAMOUS!!! He catches you in a big butterfly net, and you can't escape because all that hair gets caught in the net - and subjects you to humiliating tests and forces you to sleep in a cold metal cage, taking no notice of your protests that you're a 'real person, honest'! If it's any consolation he thinks you're quite smart........! :P

 

I wish that I could eat chocolate cake every day and not get fat. And don't even think about trying to corrupt this wish by saying that's ALL i can eat every day - because I honestly wouldn't mind that at all!!!! ;)

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but you CAN eat it every day and not get fat......because you have an acute case of irritable bowel syndrome which, in your case, means that everything you eat passes more or less straight through you. Consequently you spend most of your waking hours on the pan, so many that you've had to move your books, your telly and DVD into the bathroom, and are currently trying to convert it into a home - office.....

 

I wish I could be invisible.....

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You proudly agree to sponsor an Armadillo called Gavin. Unfortunately this particular Armadillo likes to play fast and loose with your cash and builds up several thousand pounds in gambling debts with people that don't like to be kept waiting. As his sponsor it isn't long before you hear a knock on the door....

 

By the way Tess - good work with Chavhampton!

 

I wish I could do the splits.

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We are all there. All of us. Every single book group member. And we're all in your house. Grammath has just broken your favourite plate by throwing it at Megustaleer after they had an argument about The Lovely Bones. My Friend Jack has raided your drinks cupboard and OOPS in his drunken state spilt a bottle of red wine on your carpet. Rootytootytoo is listening to your CDs and not putting them back in the cases :eek: and Slowreader has started to use them as coasters while incessantly spouting Jimmy Tarbuck and Joe Pasquale jokes. Tess has nicked the majority of your books, she and her accomplice HappyFriday are carting them off in your pillowcases as we speak. NonFictionReader is sitting in your kitchen and he's eaten the cake you were saving for your mum's visit on Sunday. If it's any consolation he says it was yummy. Dreamweaver and your high bills are smoking a joint in the bedroom and have burned holes in your bedspread. If I were you I'd get back there sharpish and sort it all out - I'm using your laptop to write this - OOPS just spilt coffee in it!

 

I wish all the burglars in the world would fall down wells and die like that little girl in Ring. Especially the ones that robbed me, the BASTARDS!!! :mad:

 

PS...hope no one minds me using their names! Just took them from the last people to post on this thread, nothing personal! ;)

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You can juggle, in fact you're amazing at it, you can even juggle 15 LIVE kittens without hurting them!

 

Trouble is, you develop Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and you can't stop juggling or else you're sure you'll immediately be eaten by a dragon.

 

Unfortunately the kittens get so annoyed at you juggling them (not to mention the fact they can't keep anything down due to motion sickness and are therefore a bit peckish) that they turn on you and eat you up before the dragon gets a chance! :eek:

 

I wish it was 5pm and I was on my way home to a yummy meal cooked by my boyfriend. (not by me as I burn everything. Even the utensils.) :o

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You are home, the dinner is perfect and your boyfriend even does the washing up.But your boss calls and you have to go back to the office and work through the night on aproject about road clearance.

 

I wish I could climb a mountain and not get vertigo.

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Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, it's up the mount you go, experiencing not a bit of vertigo. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for altitude sickness, which leaves you gasping and disoriented and you fall down a glacier!

 

I wish I was back in Florida where it's warm and sunny and all my friends and family are.

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You are back in Florida - unfortunately, all your clothes remained here, and you were arrested as you stepped off the plane. You are currently in a holding cell with several highly undesirable companions, and are about to discover if a 'fate worse than death' is as bad as it sounds ...

 

 

I wish I had three more wishes.

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