Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
Abbynormal92243

Corrupted Wish Game

Recommended Posts

A cup of tea does materialise in front of you but you have freakily become allergic to tea and having enjoyed it, spend the rest of the week covered from head to toe in weeping sores

 

I wish I didn't have to go to Stafford tomorrow

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You become part of a clinical trial being conducted to cure the common cold. The doctor's experiment to de-bung noses by inserting two small sticks of dynamite into said noses works, but also blows your brain out of your ears. You are left a vegetable.

 

I wish I had another week off work after this one

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You are no longer sleepy but end up staying awake until 5am watching rubbish on television, only to fall asleep and be woken, grumpy and dishevelled at 6am when your alarm goes off to get you up for work - you fall asleep at your desk and are fired before lunch

 

I wish I could sing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can sing beautifully....you just have the warts all over your face, and the snot dribbling out of your nose along with a hefty stench of BO that's wafting about your person to over come now!!!

 

I wish that I could eat all the chocolate in the world without actually gaining any weight or having it disturb my beautiful complexion. xxxx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can, and do, eat all the chocolate in the world, but when it's all gone you are attacked verbally and physically by hordes of raging women all suffering from PMT and chocolate deprivation.

 

I wish my cats would not shed their long hair all over all my carpets, curtains, beds and chairs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your cats do stop shedding their long hair over all of you carpets, curtains, beds and chairs but that's only because they went bald all over and you spend the rest of your life knitting them little coats to keep them warm.

 

I wish that I could win the lottery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations on your lottery win, lbmc. Three correct numbers, well done. Don't spend that £10 all at once now.

 

I wish my back didn't hurt.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kemp Ridley turtles are no longer endangered (hurrah!) but now they no longer have any protected status they are hunted & made into soup until they are totally extinct...just like the dodo!

 

I wish someone would clean my rats cage out for me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Someone does clean out your rats cage but in the process decide that they like your rats so much they abscond with them never to be seen again.

 

I wish that the weather could be totally predictable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Meteorologists have done what was necessary to make the weather controllable and predictable: it is now established for certain that it's going to rain continuously for the rest of your life.

 

I wish my flat could be cleaner (and possibly bigger?)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your flat is cleaner and bigger - it's so big that you got lost and while you are desperately trying to look for the bathroom you slipped on the squeaky clean floor, fell flat on your face, and lost two front teeth.

 

I wish to become the Chief Justice.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish alcohol didn't cause liver disease.

Your wish is granted. Alcohol no longer causes liver disease, because it is now so toxic that anyone who even smells it dies instantly.

 

I wish I had a yacht.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish alcohol didn't cause liver disease.

You took the wish right out of my mouth.

 

It's granted nevertheless and without the fear of liver disease you exist in the permanent haze of intoxication brought on by the finest Scottish distilleries. Your final recollection is of stepping out to meet the friendly pink elephant that turned out to be the No. 47 to Tooting Bec.

 

I wish MPs were honest, open and only concerned to do the best for their constituents.

 

EDIT: Beaten to it by Kim - and rightly so!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your book does write itself but instead of the gripping fantsy drama meets psychological thriller you envisaged, it turns out to be a slightly limp romance novel that you spend the rest of your days denying is anything to do with you at all!

 

I wish Jasper (from Twilight) would come to the sudden realisation that I am in fact the woman of his dreams :P;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

He does in fact come to the sudden realisation that you are in fact the woman of his dreams and then he dies, getting hit by the bus whilst crossing the road to meet you....!!!!!!!!!!

 

I wish that my wedding would pay for itself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your wedding does pay for itself, or rather ITV pays for it, when you agree to take part in a wedding show for daytime television. You are lied to by the camera crew throughout and so are devastated to find televised shots of you closely resembling a Jeremy Kyle guest, wearing your spanx, hair in curlers, green facepack on, shrieking like a banshee at anyone within 50 feet of you that you're not marrying anyone unless someone gets you a "bleep bleep bleep bleep bleeping cigarette and a shot of bleep bleep bleep vodka...neat...no I don't want ice, it'll bleep bleeping dilute it you beeeeeeeeeeeep!" even though it is 7.30 in the morning...you are horrified & spend the rest of the year in big hats and dark glasses avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone when you step outside your house

 

I wish I had a pair of Chanel Mary Jane style shoes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do in fact own a pair of Chanel Mary Jane style shoes and on your first outing in them, your heels snap, you trip, you fall and you break your neck!!!

 

I wish that the house would clean itself!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your house does clean itself, then in a desire to stay pristine, it locks itself, and you can never get in again.

 

I wish I owned a vineyard in the hills.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You do own a vineyard in the hills but your "hill" turns out to be a dormant volcano...one night it decides it has slept long enough, the eruption is so sudden that your vineyard and attached estate become a modern day Pompeii

 

I wish I lived in a big mansion on my own private island

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I wish I lived in a big mansion on my own private island

Your wish is granted. You are a termite in a flooded mound.

 

I wish that MrHG hadn't eaten all his easter bilby.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...