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Abbynormal92243

Corrupted Wish Game

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Oh, you did say "No more wine for me please", you also said, "Make mine a pint of absinthe" and downed it in a oner. Now you wish you'd stuck to wine!

 

I wish I could find a job that pays as well as mine, but without all the stress.

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I wish I could find a job that pays as well as mine, but without all the stress.

You find the perfect job - it pays twice your current one and contains no stress. Unfortunately, it is for a well known vegetable firm, and in line with their current policy regarding peas (each bag must contain a certain number, rather than weight) all you spend your day doing is counting peas. After 3 weeks in the job all you see is peas - in place of the green light on the traffic lights, in place of full stops in books, in place of screws on doorhandles. You dream about peas. Slowly, all you can think of is peas, and they are all you can imagine eating. Due to a lack of other vitamins in your diet and the way that you are slowly driven insane, your body begins to waste away and you lose your mind resulting in you being unable to get a job that involves any challenges.

 

(Sorry - why am I always so nasty?!)

 

I wish that I could party like I used to!

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No problem, tonight is the beginning of your partying like you used to. And you keep on partying like that for as long as you want. The problem is that all you care about now is drinking while you are partying because it puts you in the mood. And you become an alcoholic.

 

I wish I could live happily.

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I wish I could live happily.
You become insanely happy for no apparent reason. You smile and laugh all day about nothing in particular. Anything you do provides as much joy as the next thing so you lose interest in the things that you love and give life meaning, like reading and writing and the natural world, and end up loving reality T.V. and fast food.

 

I wish I had bags of confidence.

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You do have bags of confidence, so much confidence that you believe that you can fly. You climb to the top of a multi-storey carpark and leap into the air - unfortunately you were over-confident...

 

I wish my goldfish wouldn't keep dying.

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You do realise your now immortal goldfish is going to outlive you, don't you? Not that it can remember who you are anyway.

 

I wish I could retire.

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I wish I could retire.

Your generous employers at Tesco allow you to retire early and you sit back ready to relax.

 

Unfortunately, the following week Tesco becomes so huge it passes the tipping point to achieve total world domination and its employees are appointed leaders over the country's regions. Your former position would have given you the role of Governor General of the Isle of Wight (now known as Clubcardia), but as it is, your home falls under the jurisdiction of Cartwright, that idiot in accounts whom you made an unpleasant gesture at when leaving the office on your final day. He ensures you are conscripted into the Trolley Taskforce and you spend the rest of your days in a Tesco gulag straightening wonky wheels.

 

I wish the electronic goods in my home never broke down or went hopelessly wrong.

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You have a strange and beautiful mind, David!

 

The electronic goods in your home surprise you by working perfectly every time! However, the electric fence surrounding your home is permanently on the blink; it allows all travelling salesmen, gypsy peg sellers, trick or treaters, market researchers, carol singers and junk mail deliverers completely unhampered access to your extensive grounds, but, unfortunately no one can get out, without being killed by the huge electric charge. You are beginning to think that throwing yourself on top of the fence may be a happy release.

 

I wish my boss would retire!

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Your boss retires, but you are expected to cover his duties, for no extra money, until a replacement is appointed. Unfortunately, due to the Credit Crunch, the recruitment budget has been slashed and there is no chance of a replacement for your boss in the forseeable future

 

 

I wish my cats would stop shedding hair all over the house.

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I'm amazed I've never seen this thread before. Been enjoying reading through some of the old posts.

 

Unfortunately, the following week Tesco becomes so huge it passes the tipping point to achieve total world domination

I think this has since happened hasn't it.

 

I wish my cats would stop shedding hair all over the house.

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, they've turned into those ugly, bald cats like the one owned by Dr Evil and everyone you know is so freaked out by them that they no longer come to visit you. Your husband packs up home and leaves you and you spend the rest of your lonely days protecting yourself from your scary neighbours who believe these evil freaky cats are proof of witchcraft on your part.

 

I wish I had loads of energy.

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Errr - that's not a corrupted wish :confused:

Sometimes these things don't work as well when you have to explain them, but I suspect when you wished for loads of energy you weren't hoping to be executed in an electric chair. I'd say that counts as a corrupted wish, though happy to listen to counter-arguments.

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Oh I getcha - yup I guess that counts.

I wish I could fly right up to the sky but I can't.

Ok MrHG your wish is granted. Unfortunately you fly too close to the sun and your wings melt and you fall in to the sea leaving your poor fiance heart broken.

 

I wish I didn't get migraines.

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Granted! Unfortunately, beautiful poetry is now ALL you can write. A simple note for the milkman takes a week and a shopping list so long you starve to death and are found slumped over the beginnings of a beautiful mushroom-based haiku.

 

I wish I liked some of the people I work with more.

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I wish I liked some of the people I work with more.

Woosh - you're wish is granted. Trouble is you like them so much you become a clingy stalker and start to freak them out. Some of them are so upset that they get a court injunction forbidding you to go within a mile of them, which means you have to pack in your job and end up on the dole skint.

 

I wish I could live forever

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You can live forever, but nobody else will, so you soon run out of people with whom you share memories.

 

I wish we had a roadworthy car.

Ah, you can have a roadworthy car, unfortunately it's so expensive to run/tax/insure that you can't take it out of your driveway.

 

I wish that I could be healthy all of the time.

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You could be healthy all the time but then you'd run out of topics of conversation.

 

I wish I didn't have to fly 12,000 miles to see my son and his family.

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I wish I didn't have to fly 12,000 miles to see my son and his family.

Your wish is granted, here's a round the world bus/ferry pass.

 

I wish you a merry Christmas (and a happy New Year)

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I had a merry christmas and a happy new year....and I gained 2stone from all that christmas food!!!

 

I wish that my budgie Princess would stop rattling her bell in my ear!

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