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Corrupted Wish Game


Abbynormal92243
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Your green fingers result in the production of an abundance of vegetables from your patch.

 

However, your green fingers are also the result of the large concentrations of dodgy chemicals and radioactive particles in your soil thanks to the nearby power plant. This means your produce is completely inedible unless the consumer would like to develop a selection of curious cancers. It does, however, comes in a variety of interesting colours and shapes.

 

I wish someone would buy my flat.

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Someone does buy your flat - unfortuately they find the bodies you buried ...... the good news is that you can rent out your new flat on a 25 year long lease whilst you live free of charge in Wormwood Scrubs

 

I wish I didn't have exceedingly noisy neighbours

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You do...at least the Council buys it from you under a compulsory purchase order for half the going rate. You end up buying Grammath's old flat which was going cheap on account of not being able to get rid of the smell of decaying flesh.

 

I wish I could go swimming without getting my hair wet.

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You do; unfortunately it is just after your 'red-striped' burgers become all the rage among junk food addicts! You thereby miss your opportunity to become a mega-millionaire by being the next McDonalds like mogul!

 

I wish I could win the Lottery some week.

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You do win the lottery! But unfortunaley the papers name you and everyone you know and love tries to swindle it from you. Your great aunt manages to and you are left penniless!!

 

I wish Philadelphia story would hurry up and come out on DVD. the 20th is too far away!

 

Sorry, I'm not here to corrupt your wish. Philadelphia Story is my all time favourite film - I have it on video - and I hope you get it soon because it is fabulous!!! :P

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Never seen it, so I will corrupt it! It comes out on DVD tomorrow, but only on Region 1 forever, and u can't buy a multi-region DVD player anywhere, and never get to watch it!

 

I wish that my first attempt at making rhubarb wine is successful!

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It does - about a ton and a half of chain mail. The postman gives you a very funny look and henceforth assumes that any 'dodgy' catalogues should come automatically to you. Your neighbours then get the wrong idea too and ostracise you completely....apart from the strange man at number 4 who begins bringing you flowers. Dead and with the heads cut off. Time to move.

 

I wish the hedge would cut itself.

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He doesn't - he retains all noxious gases, takes off and explodes somewhere over Senegal.

 

Poor pug - and poor Senegalese

 

I wish Russell Crowe would just bog off forever.

 

In marketing wankology a bogoff is 'buy one get one free' so now there are two Russell Crowe's both of whom move in on either side of you.

 

I wish that the temperature on the Red sea coast drops 20 degrees but remains sunny

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