An accident waiting to happen & it did. (Long)

[Colinj]

My sister has three children. Two from a previous relationship & one with the current. The oldest is twelve the next is 10 & the Cuckoo in the nest is six.
The six year old is the only child of my sisters current boyfriend & he is a wild card at that. His father lets him play violent computer games (18+) & watch 15 & 18 horror & war films. He has £200 in cash very xmas to buy toys & the other two get just one present each.

One afternoon I saw a BB air pistol in the Six year old bedroom which fires small stainless steel pellets the gun is only suitable for 14 year olds & over.

This morning the 12 year old stood on his six year old brothers "Ipswich Town" football club rug on the bedroom floor which they share.

The six year old said "Get off my rug or I will shoot you!!"
The 12 year old got off the mat but the six year old shot him just below the left eye. above the cheek bone He is still in hospital & it is not sure if the eye ball is damaged.

When the six year olds father came home his Dad broke the gun over his knee & gave the six year old a telling off.

I told my sister that the gun was dangerous but as usual was ignored.
This little boy will grow up thinking it is normal to kill or shoot people if they up set him. As a Christian I find this a very hard thing to see this little boy growing up in this environment.
I do not want to interfere because it will be considered not to be my business.
What should I do?

CJ

[Dr. Strangelove]

Ok, I may not be experienced enough in the world to give good advice (I'm 15). If your sis doesn't listen it's EXTRA hard. Maybe you should talk to the 6 year olds dad. If I were you I would probably yell the hell of at your sister. Or maybe you could have a quiet discussion, because then you can get your views across and she can get hers, and maybe then you may realise where she is coming from. Or you could just take all the boys dangerous toys and games away and pretend you don't know what's going on. Sorry for the lack of help, but by reading it I felt annoyed, so I thought I should say something. Good Luck!

[nospacesallowed]

Well, first how did he get the gun
and secondly it's illegal to have a gin here anyway isn't it

[Bill]

and secondly it's illegal to have a gin here anyway isn't it

No but I think it is in the United Arab Emirates.

[megustaleer]

Does the 12year-old still see his own father, and what does he say about the situation.
Did the hospital not notify the police? I'd be tempted to get them involved. Or Social Services, although you never know where that might lead.
Even if you are really close to your sister your 'interference' would probably not be welcome, and could lead to severing of that relationship.
Tread carefully! Pray before you speak/act!

[babelbel]

No but I think it is in the United Arab Emirates.


That wasn't helpful - even if it did make me laugh.

Unfortunately for Colinj there are a lot of kids growing up in this sort of environment. There are people out there who do not understand that what a small child experiences - either in the home, on TV or computer games - is what he/she thinks is normal in the world.

They are unable to determine what is fact and what is fantasy and its understandable that they react in the way that they do. Its a pity that their parents don't have the sense to understand that there are age recommendations on these things for a reason. I think we expect our children to 'grow up' too quickly.

I would agree with Megustaleer on this one. I suspect that trying to talk to your sister or her partner you may simply cause a rift. The only benefit of which is that you will not have to watch the child turn into a monster.

I would imagine that taking a child into hospital with the sort of injury you are describing will mean that social services and/or the police will get involved. Unfortunately for you they will only deal with the childs immediate family and it will depend on how receptive they are whether or not it makes any difference.

It sounds like there is a big mountain to climb on this one. The other children in the family must bear a degree of resentment towards the little one and without seeing the bigger picture its difficult even to suggest a starting point.

Sorry - that wasn't very helpful either. These situations just make me want to rant I'm afraid.

I've just read over the thread again and realised you posted this back in March! I hope everything is ok now.

I've ranted - I'll sign off!

[megustaleer]

Sorry, ColinJ, that it has taken so long to respond to this thread . Don't know how I missed it earlier, as I trawl through the 'new' posts quite regularly.

I hope the family (including you) are resolving these problems with the passage of time.

[Colinj]

My sister will not discuss it with us, They are the typical Council House Ites.
Rough as guts & non caring as long as they have fags & beer.

Her partner cooled down enough to get him another BB gun but no accidents so far. His father bought him one of these mini moto's & the youngest is not really interested. Give him a bag of toy soldiers & he gets his camo gear on & will play with them for hours.
Thanks for the help & advice.
CJ

[David]

These guns are a real problem. I understand the difficulties of trying to get your sister to listen, though maybe the current climate of danger presents a better opportunity.

The police make it clear that anyone (child or not - and this HAS HAPPENED to children) seen in public with what looks like a firearm will trigger an automatic armed police response. They strongly advise against children being allowed to possess such weapons and a review is currently underway as to whether the law should be changed about them.

You might like to look at this BBC news article about the problem:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4694601.stm

I don't think reason is going to make any headway in this argument with your sister, but maybe fear will.

[megustaleer]

My sister will not discuss it with us, They are the typical Council House Ites.
Rough as guts & non caring as long as they have fags & beer.
CJ
My emboldening above.

This snobbish and judgemental attitude will not help your relationship with your sister.

[My Friend Jack]

Quite right, Meg, exactly what I thought when I read it.